Khaberni -Tell me - Humans have mastered over centuries the art of subtly hinting at love in various implicit forms, highlighting the nature of our continuous pursuit of love, and the development of diverse methods ranging from flirting with fans during the Regency era to exchanging gifts between lovers.
When you visit the Richelieu wing in the Louvre Museum in Paris, you might see a painting of a former English queen, her hands adorned with precious rings, clasped in front of her, smiling a subtle smile that suggests dignity and balance, her jewelry sparkling on her head covering, and her dress adorned with rich red and gold fabrics and puffed sleeves, below her neck hangs a small cross, and the painting undoubtedly looks as though it was painted to attract attention.
This painting, known as the "Engagement of Anne of Cleves," created by Hans Holbein the Younger, was so attractive that it prompted King Henry VIII, one of the most powerful rulers of his time, to engage with it in 1539, and the king’s ambassador in the Cleves region described it as "lifelike," meaning it was an accurate portrayal of her original form.
However, some historians criticized Holbein for deliberately beautifying her features and exaggerating her beauty. Generally, the first meeting between Anne and Henry was marked by extreme awkwardness, as historical sources indicate that they were not attracted to each other, and the relationship ended officially in July 1540, a move considered by some as a successful escape for Anne from an unknown fate.
Although presenting a future queen through an artistic painting might initially seem far from our contemporary concept of seeking love amidst the momentum of digital dating services, "engagement and courtship pictures" have once again come to the forefront.
In 2022, about 30 percent of adults in the United States used dating apps, which require users to make crucial initial decisions based on a personal photo and some comforting words from friends.
Given that the vast majority of modern dating interactions depend on communication via screens, users find themselves facing hundreds of options of potential partners, organized according to electronic algorithms. Despite this, comparing contemporary dating styles to those centuries ago reveals that words were not always essential or necessary in the "journey of seeking love."
Some secret languages or visual signals suggesting feelings of attraction have remained remarkably constant over the centuries, while others have been forgotten. What do these non-verbal symbols reveal about our notions of romantic relationships? And could understanding them help us achieve true love?
"The Flirting Fan"
We start with an era that celebrated romantic love and engagement rituals, known as the Regency period, a span of decades around 1800, when women had the opportunity to flirt and be courted, and also played an active role in the marriage market. In the novels of Regency era authors, such as Jane Austen, heroes often sought marriage for financial gain or social standing, yet love would ultimately prevail.
The signals from fans were especially useful in noisy and crowded parties, or in situations requiring discretion and secrecy. In closer encounters, men and women used fragrances "to stir and enhance feelings of love and physical desire," according to Holloway, with perfumes being added to love letters to entice and attract the other party.
Holloway says that men in the Regency era would present a wide array of gifts to women, ranging from flowers to miniature paintings, as an expression of affection and to demonstrate their suitability as potential life partners.
She adds: "The partners would gauge their compatibility in temperament and life views through the exchange of books as symbolic gifts, with the passages they most agreed upon marked."
She continues: "In their letters, they would discuss their hopes and fears, their ethical stances, and what they aspired to achieve from marriage, as they strove to build a deeper emotional bond."
In contrast, Holloway notes that women typically presented men with handmade gifts such as embroidered adornments and knitted jacket sets, expressing their skills in household work and the amount of time they invested in the relationship, and also gifted pressed flowers, like violets, which symbolized modesty, honesty, and faithful love.
Sally Holloway, a researcher at the University of Warwick in the United Kingdom and author of the book "The Game of Love in Georgian England," says that "marriage for love was an ideal celebrated during the eighteenth century," and people valued seeking love before marriage, unlike ?>">
