Khaberni - In the workplace, at parties, or even during a fleeting conversation with neighbors, social interaction can become a real source of stress for many, and to face this pressure, some resort to quick actions they believe help them feel secure.
The French magazine "Madame Le Figaro" reported that these "instant solutions" for feeling secure can backfire, as explained by British psychologist Julie Smith, who revealed in an Instagram video how certain common behaviors can fuel anxiety instead of dissipating it.
For her part, Julie Smith, known for her mental health awareness content, said that social anxiety leads many to adopt automatic defensive reactions.
She explained that although these reactions provide a temporary sense of relief, they prevent the individual from fully experiencing the social situation, thus hindering the long-term building of self-confidence.
Seeking refuge in a mobile phone
The first of these behaviors is being preoccupied with the phone to avoid eye contact or engaging in conversation. Smith describes this behavior as an immediate nerve soother, providing a quick escape from embarrassment. However, the phone quickly becomes a barrier separating the person from others, losing the opportunity for real interaction which could gradually reduce anxiety. Thus, the digital refuge becomes an obstacle to building natural relationships.
Many anxious individuals tend to mentally prepare their sentences during a conversation for fear of making mistakes. However, this excessive focus on personal performance leads to losing track of what the other party is saying. Rather than making the conversation smoother, it increases confusion and creates the awkward situation the individual was trying to avoid in the first place.
Sticking with one person all evening
In social events, some may choose to stay next to a familiar person, a friend, colleague, or partner, and not leave their side.
This behavior provides a temporary sense of security, but it limits the opportunities for meeting and interacting with new people. Worse yet, if this person suddenly leaves, the individual finds themselves having to face the situation they were trying to avoid.
Hiding in “safe zones”
Staying long periods in the bathroom or constantly being near the drinks table to avoid talking to others are also common behaviors. Smith points out that those who practice these behaviors are often aware of their true motives, but by doing so, they deprive themselves of the opportunity to test their ability to confront situations and build self-confidence. Confidence, as she says, only grows through facing uncomfortable situations and proving the ability to overcome them.
How do we break the cycle of anxiety?
Julie Smith does not advocate for the immediate elimination of anxiety, as that is unrealistic. Instead, she proposes gradually exposing oneself to confusing social situations. She advises entering any interaction with a goal oriented towards others, such as striving to learn about a new person's story, helping a stranger feel comfortable, or challenging oneself to start a conversation with at least two new people.
Smith concludes with a reassuring message: The presence of anxiety does not mean allowing it to control our actions. The continuous repetition of “human-to-human” interaction is what gradually transforms fear into a sense of comfort, and even into a pleasure in building social bonds.
