Khaberni -
The moment of sleep is one of the most sensitive times in a child's day, starting from the first year and before reaching 7 years; between the mother's desire for her little one to sleep in his own room, and the child's fear of separation, a long journey of attempts begins on the part of the mother to reassure her child, and to find solutions for this period to pass normally and smoothly. Although sharing a bed or room with parents seems familiar and warm, research indicates that about 26% of school-aged children - especially in Arab societies - regularly sleep with their parents, confirming that this habit is widespread and not individual behavior.
But the question remains: How can a mother help her child to sleep alone without screaming, fear, or emotional trauma? Meet and Dr. Inas Al-Sharqawi, a professor of psychiatry, to learn about gradual ways to prepare a child to sleep alone without psychological pressure.
With tenderness and calm, the child sleeps alone
Organizing and helping a child to sleep alone is not just a physical training issue, but it's an emotional journey that gradually builds his personality and independence, and there is no one-size-fits-all method, but the common denominator among all successful methods is tenderness, calm, and continuity. When a mother realizes that her goal is not separation but teaching her child inner tranquility, those difficult nights will turn into beautiful moments of growth, where the little one sleeps peacefully and the mother sleeps with a reassured heart.
Well-thought-out methods for a child to sleep alone
First: The importance of building a consistent and warm sleep routine:
Routine is the secret word in calming the child and preparing him psychologically to sleep alone. A child who knows what to expect before bedtime feels secure. A mother can start by setting a fixed bedtime each night, followed by a series of quiet rituals like a warm bath, wearing pajamas, and saying bedtime prayers or short verses.
It is advisable to have a noise-free and distraction-free period before sleep, and the same routine should be repeated daily so that it becomes ingrained in the child’s mind that these steps mean bedtime, or going to bed. Over time, the child will learn that his body and mind automatically prepare for sleep when these are repeated.
Second: Stories are a gentle way to reassure the child:
Nighttime stories are an effective psychological means to alleviate anxiety in children, and smart devices that rely on artificial intelligence can be used to provide interactive stories suitable for the child's age and interests, focusing on stories that carry moral values, or prophets' stories, or folk tales that make the child feel belonging and warmth. When the child gets used to hearing a story in his mother's voice or through a beloved device, bedtime becomes a beautiful moment of anticipation instead of a moment of fear or separation.
Third: Gradual separation without harshness:
One of the most common mistakes is trying to force the child to sleep in his room suddenly. It is better to progressively and gently start by sitting next to the bed until the child falls asleep, then gradually reduce her presence over the days. This method gives the child a sense of security, teaches him to rely on himself for sleeping without constant support, and family studies show that children who gradually move to sleeping alone are less likely to have nightmares or cry at night because they do not feel that the separation was forced.
Fourth: A safe environment encourages independence:
The child's room should be an appealing and comfortable place for him. If he is aware, he can be involved in choosing its details; from the color of the walls to the shape of the pillow or cover and even the light scents. Lighting plays a pivotal role too; a night light with its warm color helps relax, while natural scents like lavender or mild oud add a familiar and soothing character. It is preferable to air the room before bed to refresh the air and make the place more comfortable.
Fifth: Staying away from screens before bed:
One of the habits most impacting children's sleep is the use of phones or tablets before bed; because the blue light emitted from the screens confuses the biological clock and delays the secretion of the sleep hormone. Therefore, it is advisable to stop any use of screens at least an hour before bedtime.
Instead, this time can be reserved for reading a story, simple coloring, or a quiet session with the mother to exchange talk. In this way, the child learns that the time before bed is a moment of relaxation, not a time for playing or watching.
Encouraging the child's independence should be done in a language of love and reward, not pressure or scolding. A sleep schedule that hangs on the wall can be used, with colorful stickers placed on it for each night the child sleeps alone. After a certain number of nights, he receives a small reward, such as a new story or extra playtime the next day. In this way, the goal of sleeping alone becomes a beautiful achievement that the child celebrates with pride.
Seventh: The mother's moral presence does not disappear completely:
Although the goal is for the child to sleep in his room, his feeling of the mother's presence even if she is in another room is very important. Therefore, she must tell him that she is near him and will check on him soon. Words like "I'm here if you need me" or "May God protect you and I’m beside you" make a big difference in his sense of security, and over time, the child will no longer need this daily reassurance, but he will retain the trust that was built during that stage.
Eighth: The role of family values in consolidating the habit:
In our Arab culture, the child acquires many of his habits from his family, so if he sees harmony and calmness in bedtime rituals inside the house, he will easily accept the idea of separate sleeping. For example, when a father and mother tell the child how they used to sleep in their rooms from a young age, he feels that this behavior is normal and not a punishment. The experience of moving can be turned into a positive event: celebrating the first night he sleeps alone, taking a commemorative picture, or inviting him to choose a new cover for the occasion.
Tips for Mothers
1. Set a specific bedtime and wake-up time daily.
2. Make sure to turn off screens before bedtime.
3. Make the story or prayer an essential part of the routine.
4. Use dim lighting and soft scents.
5. Do not rush the full transition; gradualism is the key.
6. Praise every progress the child makes, even if it is small.
