At a moment that should be dedicated to rest where everything around you quiets down, there remains one thing that resists stopping: your mind. You tell yourself you'll just check your phone "for a few minutes" to quickly go over your emails, and then you find yourself caught up again in the same whirlwind you tried to escape from.
Here arises a question that seems simple but carries a lot of complexity inside: Why do some people fail to stop working even during vacations and rest times?
Continuing to work during holidays does not always reflect ambition or commitment as it appears on the surface, but may reflect a deeper condition. Recent readings in work and leadership behaviors suggest that the inability to psychologically detach from work is sometimes linked to internal anxiety and an unconscious feeling that stopping itself might be a risk, not a relief.
Job Burnout "The Silent Killer"
When you work continuously without true breaks, you expose yourself to the risk of "job burnout". This burnout isn't just a feeling of exhaustion, but is a psychological, emotional, and physical response to continuous pressure resulting from prolonged distress, often sneaking up unnoticed.
Upon reaching burnout, you might feel that you have nothing more to give or that you've simply lost the ability to care. Burnout drains your energy and productivity and extends its effects to your personal life. It may lead to heightened anxiety, depression, emotional distress, poor decision-making, lack of attention, motivation, and a negative outlook on life.
A 2005 study showed that women who do not take regular vacations are twice to thrice more likely to suffer from depression compared to those who do take regular breaks. A study that followed more than 12,000 men over nine years found that men who do not take annual vacations are 32% more likely to die from a heart attack. Additionally, researchers found that the risk of heart attack and death was eight times higher among women who rarely took vacations, compared to those who took at least a vacation every two to five years.
About the importance of vacations, Natalie Dattilo, a clinical psychologist and lecturer in psychology at Harvard Medical School, says that relinquishing all responsibilities, even for just 24 hours, can help you return to work and life with a new vision and you may feel more calm, capable, and possibly even more productive.
The "Physical" Vacation is Not Enough
The real problem lies in that moment when you take your vacation, while your mind is still stuck in a whirlwind of work. You might find yourself on a quiet beach or on a far-away trip, yet continue pondering the tasks and responsibilities as if you never left your desk.
Studies clarify that rest isn't achieved just by physically distancing yourself from work, but primarily depends on the ability to psychologically detach from it, as the key factor in regaining energy and alleviating burnout.
A vacation doesn't suffice if a person remains connected to their tasks, follows up on emails, or thinks about their professional responsibilities, as this keeps the mind in a state of constant alert and prevents true relaxation. Physical distance alone does not address the root of the problem unless accompanied by a change in thought patterns and setting clear boundaries between work and personal life.
The inability to achieve this separation explains why many return from their vacations still feeling the same exhaustion, and for some, the vacation itself can become an additional source of stress if they remain preoccupied mentally with what awaits them after returning or feel they are "neglecting" their duties by their temporary departure from work. In this case, the vacation is just a change of scenery, not a psychological state.
"Fear of Stopping".. When Rest Becomes an Internal Threat
What makes stopping to think about work so difficult? In reality, it does not happen by chance, but is the result of a complex set of psychological factors that undermine the ability to mentally detach from work, including:
Identity Merged with Work
For some people, work is not just a daily task, but gradually becomes part of self-definition. At the moment of stopping—even if brief—an internal heavy question arises: Who am I away from this role? Shutting down the computer doesn't just end the workday, but threatens a deeper sense of existence. Here, the matter doesn't concern weak willpower or poor time management, but an identity formed over years around achievement and productivity, without being seriously examined or questioned.
Control Anxiety
Some individuals work non-stop driven by a kind of "assurance". The absence of knowledge about what's happening at work seems unbearable to them, so they imagine that their constant presence is a condition for the stability of things and preventing a collapse. Thus, constant vigilance becomes the only feasible form of safety.
Value Associated with Productivity
This factor often goes back to childhood when some grow up in environments that link personal value to achievement, interpreting rest as "laziness" and productivity as the direct proof of worthiness. Over time, this perception does not disappear but is reproduced within modern professional language: "Results first", "full commitment", while it is, in depth, an extension of an older and more ingrained idea: that stopping production means a decline in value.
With the presence of one or more of these factors, vacations fail to cure burnout, because stopping work itself triggers internal anxiety and a feeling of losing control.
From Manager to Employee... How Does Burnout Spread?
The behavior of leaders and managers in the workplace does not remain confined to them, but gradually shifts to other levels. When employees see that "constant busyness equals success", the culture of the entire workplace turns into a system of collective exhaustion.
When some leaders reward the culture of continuous work, and show their preference for those who remain available without interruption, they—intentionally or unintentionally—contribute to spreading what resembles an "exhaustion contagion" within the work environment. It no longer remains individual behavior, but evolves into an undeclared standard of belonging and success.
In this context, statements by Stuart Machin, the CEO of the British retailer "Marks and Spencer", sparked a broad controversy when he expressed his disfavor towards leaders who disconnect completely during vacations, and his reservations about the recurrent discussion on "work-life balance". These statements—which reached a large audience—turned into an entry point for a broader discussion about the nature of modern leadership and the boundaries of expectations within work environments, and whether the culture of "constant presence" reflects true productivity strength or perpetuates burnout.
When the inability to detach from work is presented as a sign of true leadership, constant presence becomes a standard of commitment and dedication, and psychological security disappears. Rest is then seen as a type of risk, and individuals make their decisions based on what seems acceptable, not what is healthy. In the end, this pressure does not serve the work itself, as it pushes employees to stop using their full intellectual capacities because they are exhausted.
How to Stop Working Without Feeling Guilty?
Psychological literature indicates that the ability to "mentally detach" from work is a learnable skill, not a fixed trait. You can start with simple but effective steps, including:
1- Ask yourself honestly: Why don't I stop?
Identify the underlying reason for your constant presence and inability to stop working. The next time you feel an urgent desire to check your phone during rest time, even without any real necessity, do not just resist it.
Ask yourself: What am I afraid to miss out on? The answer will be a direct indicator that leads you to the reason. Writing it down, a single word is enough to start.
2- Gradually train your brain to detach
In القدرة_param, you need to regain your sense of control over your thoughts and feelings, until you realize that stopping does not mean losing value or control. Separate your identity from your job role. Allocate one hour daily where you do not engage in any professional connections: Walk, exercise, spend time with your children or friends, and leave your phone in another room.
The goal here is not to achieve "balance" all at once, but to remind yourself that you exist and have meaning outside of work. It is not necessary to execute this perfectly; the important thing is to keep trying.
3- Don't wait until you're completely depleted
It's wise to commit to taking a mental health day regularly, perhaps every two or three months. Dattilo explains, "The trap we fall into is waiting too long or postponing the matter, thinking we do not have enough time now. Here, we might miss the opportunity for rest to the extent that we will need more than a day to regain our energy", adding, "Think of it as precharging, rather than waiting for your energy to run out".
4- Protect your day of rest from the infiltration of work
Once you decide to take a day for mental rest, a question arises: How to use this time? Whatever you do, avoid work tasks as much as possible. Turn off professional notifications and refrain from checking emails if possible. Make this day dedicated to relaxation and self-care: Sleep in, read a book, have a massage or skincare session, take a hike in nature, meet friends, or engage in long-postponed hobbies.
Dattilo warns that many tend to transform a day of rest into a new list of tasks, substituting professional work with another type of labor.
In the end, the issue is not about rejecting work or ambition, but about posing a different question: How can I continue without burning myself out? The answer often starts from a simple decision: to allow the "power button" to turn off a little, so that not everything else does.
