The surgeon heals wounds. All wounds. Except his own!
This is not an exception. This is an employment requirement!
George Wassouf once sang: "Khaberni," people said I am delighted, due to excessive joy he sings. He was not singing. He was writing a diagnosis! And the diagnosis has not changed — only who stands on the edge changed!
On the morning of April 2nd, a resident doctor at the Jordan University Hospital threw himself from the fourth floor. Three years in medicine. A British university. Security cameras captured everything — he didn't slip, the wind didn't push him. He chose the window. Then he chose to fall!
Two weeks prior, the department head noticed changes. The hospital gave him sick leave. Requested a medical report for his return. The doctor came back on Tuesday. He was rejected. Then he returned on Thursday without the management's knowledge.
And from the window, downward!
The system teaches the doctor to endure because the patients are weak. It teaches him to heal because that is what he studied for. Then it leaves him alone with his wounds — those he is not allowed to name because a doctor does not get sick, a resident does not break down, and the system only recognizes what it can ignore!
So he endures. And endures. And endures.
Until endurance becomes collapse itself!
The sick leave given was not care. It was an organized exclusion! And the required medical report was not a protocol. It was a barrier in medical language!
When he returned on Tuesday and was rejected, he was not being stubborn.
He was screaming in the only way left: Return me to the only place I know....
And when prevented from the door, he went to the window!
The institution turns on the surveillance cameras after the fall. It does not open attendance files before it. Because documentation does not oblige. And the examination obliges everything!
No one asks the doctor: What do you need?
He is asked: How are you?
"How are you" is a question that comforts the asker.
"What do you need" is a question that obliges him.
And the difference between the two questions is the entire fourth floor!
The doctor who sees death every day then returns to a room only big enough for a book and insomnia — knows the name of his disease! But he cannot say it! Because the place that trained him to heal did not train him to admit that he is sick!
The system does not collapse in a moment.
It collapses window by window!
And when its files are closed, the window remains open — for those who come after, and for those who now stand on an unseen edge, healing by day and bleeding by night!
"Khaberni," they said I am delighted!
The walls do not talk.
But they heard everything.
And when they finally speak —
They do not choose the words...
They point to the window!
