Khaberni - Many have believed that the best way to end marital problems is not to go to bed angry.
But relationship experts confirm today that this traditional rule may be more harmful than helpful.
Is it time to demolish the "Don't sleep while angry" rule?
Samantha Whiten, a clinical psychologist in Maryland, said: "The idea is completely wrong. All it does is ensure that people fight while they are exhausted and tired."
Instead, experts encourage couples to learn habits that help them rest while maintaining the health of the relationship in the long term.
Why might sleeping angry be better than trying a quick fix?
It is natural to want to discuss a problem as soon as it happens, but experts point out that resolving disputes before bedtime in a calm and loving manner is rare.
Whiten also warned that nighttime discussions often occur when a person is hungry, angry, lonely, or tired, which is known in psychotherapy by the acronym HALT, and that consuming alcohol in the evening makes matters worse, resulting in impulsive actions that a person might later regret.
The solution: a temporary halt and scheduling a later time
Instead of trying to solve the dispute immediately, Sabina Romanov, a psychologist in New York, suggests acknowledging the problem and taking a break to schedule a later time to discuss it, such as having lunch or coffee the next day.
Romanov emphasized that the key is to commit to returning to the conversation later to build trust between partners and understand each other's needs.
The difference between pausing and avoiding
Whiten explained that some couples feel unable to sleep until the dispute is resolved immediately, which is often due to anxiety and inability to deal with ambiguity.
She highlighted the importance of being able to self-soothe, affirming that complete avoidance is also not the best solution. Each partner must return later to discuss the topic, maintaining a sense of security and trust in the relationship.
Regular communication before problems occur
As a preventative measure, Romanov advised couples to establish a habit of regular communication, even if it involves small talks about each partner's day, to create an atmosphere of emotional safety that paves the way for later problem discussions.
She confirmed that using "I" statements and clearly expressing needs at the right time increases the chance of being heard and understood by the other party.
She also emphasized that timing is everything in successful communication, and that building trust and the ability to pause can be a real turnaround in relationships.
