Khaberni - Recent studies in child psychology and education have shown that parents' continuous attempts to boost their children's confidence through constant encouragement and quick interventions to solve their problems can lead to completely opposite results, especially in children who suffer from excessive thinking and anxiety, according to "Psychology Today".
Psychological research has shown that the traditional focus on building "self-esteem" ties a child's self-worth to success only, making them fragile in the face of crises, while the true solution lies in building "self-reliance", which is the ability to face frustration and unexpected situations without collapsing.
Mental health experts indicate that parents' immediate intervention by offering advice or trying to save the child from their negative emotions gradually teaches the brain that difficult emotions represent emergencies and require external intervention. This pattern deprives the child of the opportunity to develop self-coping mechanisms, and increases their freezing and resistance to stressful situations in the future.
Instead of delivering motivational speeches that are ineffective with overthinkers, science recommends adopting an approach based on posing a pivotal question that gives the child control of the situation: "Do you want me to listen to you or are you looking for suggestions?"
Behavioral theories confirm that this simple question grants the child the ability to guide their inner experience and determine their needs, which enhances their decision-making capability and learning from incomplete experiences.
Self-confidence does not grow from achieving constant victories or protection from disappointments, but develops through experiencing uncertain outcomes, bearing their consequences, and reaching a psychological conviction that failure does not mean the end.
Therefore, the ultimate goal of modern education is not to protect children from discomfort, but to help them discover their own abilities to overcome it with resilience.
