Khaberni - Dr. Anna Zamislova, who holds a PhD in Education, states that children do not see comparison as a motivator, but as a signal of "incompetence", which diminishes their motivation and self-confidence.
She says:
"Often, children do not view comparison as encouragement for better performance but see it as a sign that they are incompetent. As a result, their self-confidence is negatively affected, and they start to doubt their abilities even if they complete tasks successfully."
The expert points out that motivation also declines, as children develop a belief that trying is futile, and there is always someone better than them. They also develop a fear of making mistakes, not seeing them as opportunities to learn but as proof of failure. This affects their relationships, leading to feelings of envy or irritation towards those they are compared with.
She adds:
"Reminding a child that someone else reads faster, writes more beautifully, or performs tasks with greater precision, will not make them love learning or strive to improve, but on the contrary, may push them to avoid these activities for fear of feeling inadequate."
The expert confirms that repeated comparisons may develop negative behaviors in the child in adulthood.
She warns:
"Often, these children lack initiative, rely on the opinions of others, feel severe pain when failing, and automatically downplay their achievements. Instead of relying on self-support, they become dependent on external evaluations."
