Awad Ghaith Allah Al-Malahim
God the Almighty said and I bear witness that He is the greatest of speakers and the most truthful, the Lord of Majesty, Exalted be He: "And due to the wives is similar to what is expected of them, according to what is reasonable, and the men have a degree over them." Truly, God the Greatest (Surah Al-Baqara, verse 228). And God the Almighty said, "Men are in charge of women by [right of] what Allah has given one over the other and what they spend [for maintenance] from their wealth." Truly, God the Greatest (Surah An-Nisa, verse 34).
Guardianship here means bearing responsibility, not misuse, arrogance, or tyranny. In other words: It is a divine mandate for the man to take care of his wife's affairs, providing care, protection, and sustenance, as well as fulfilling the rights of God. It is a functional responsibility to manage the family and not dominance or preference.
And our noble Messenger Muhammad, son of Abdullah, upon him be the best prayer and fullest submission, said: "All of you are shepherds and all of you are responsible for your flocks, the Imam is a shepherd and responsible for his flock, [[ and the man is a shepherd in his family and responsible for his flock ]], [[ and the woman is a shepherdess in her husband's home and responsible for her flock ]], and the servant is a shepherd in the wealth of his master and responsible for his flock."
If the husband is righteous and fit to be a father and start a family, he must undertake many tasks—though less numerous than those of the wife—with consideration that some husband's duties are characterized by danger, hardship, and sacrifice, much more than some of the wife's tasks. Here I will highlight as much of them as possible:—
1 )) A righteous husband should embody the tasks of a shepherd, providing care and protection.
2 )) A righteous husband takes on the roles of the Ministry of Interior, armed forces, and security agencies to ensure necessary protection for his family members from others.
3 )) A righteous husband is a minister of health, as he must provide healthcare for his wife and family members.
4 )) A righteous husband is a minister of commerce and provisioning, as it is his core responsibility to supply food and life necessities for his family.
5 )) A righteous husband is a minister of housing, as it is his duty to provide adequate housing for his family.
6 )) A righteous husband is a minister of transportation by all merits and entitlement; otherwise, who could take on the responsibility of the family's transportation?
7 )) A righteous husband is a minister of justice, as he is obliged to ensure fairness and justice among his family members and not allow one to exploit the other.
8 )) A righteous husband is a minister of education, because, in cooperation with his wife, he is responsible for overseeing and guiding his children to strive and achieve appropriate educational attainment.
9 )) A righteous husband takes on the responsibilities of a finance minister alone, as it is his core responsibility to spend on his wife and all family members and to secure a decent life for them.
10 )) Among the duties of a righteous husband towards his wife is to specifically protect her from the aggression or bullying of a family member. And he should act on the basis that he is the sole responsible for his wife. It often happens that the mother-in-law, considered the husband's mother, dominates, bullies, and oppresses, as we hear about thousands of bullying stories of the husband's siblings, but rarely do we hear about the bullying of the husband's father, which counts in his favor, because the husband's father is supposed to deal with everyone respectfully and rise above petty details.
11 )) The husband works from sunrise to sunset to provide everything necessary for his family members. He suffers at work from a manager who does not fear God, an arbitrary tyrant boss, or a lurking colleague, bearing all these burdens to provide a comfortable, dignified life for his family. And he doesn't stop this hard work until life passes, the back bends, sight weakens, mind scatters, limbs tremble, and he is very close to the inevitable end by leaving to the side of his Lord in a perpetual abode till the Day of Judgment, the day when neither wealth nor sons will benefit, except he who comes to Allah with a sound heart, as stated in Surah Ash-Shu'ara, verses (88 and 89).
12 )) The husband should not be afflicted with the despicable repugnant disease of stinginess. For your information, many human habits, behaviors, and dispositions can be changed by a person, except stinginess; it is impossible for a miser to ever become generous.
13)) A husband should have a mature and understanding of the concept of "men’s guardianship over women." The Lord of Honor, Exalted be He, said regarding men’s guardianship: "Men are in charge of women," (Surah An-Nisa, verse 34). The intended meaning of men’s guardianship over women is bearing responsibility, care, protection, providing, and managing family affairs, and this does not mean dominance or superiority.
14 )) Among the most important and delicate tasks of the husband is to be affectionate with his family members, as a basis for dealing with them. He is also required to adopt a strict approach if necessary.
15 )) Among the duties of the husband or father is to provide a proper upbringing for his children to be productive, good citizens. He should also teach them how to defend themselves without harming others.
16 )) The husband and wife should smartly share roles in raising their children without crossing or conflicting and intertwining roles, but complementing each other, and they should not allow their children to breach these roles. The father should allocate sufficient space for the mother and should not interfere in minor matters, but should maintain his dignity, so that the father's character does not become faint and unimposing. It is also necessary for the husband to allocate space for his wife's personality so that she can manage family affairs in his absence or frequent travels, and to compensate for some of the father's character if the father is absent or deceased, God forbid.
17 )) The husband's personality should be clear in features, and he should be known for seriousness, credibility, and respectable conduct so that his values are solid, stable, not fluctuating, to be a role model for the wife and children.
18 )) Among the duties of a righteous husband is...
