When wars break out somewhere in the world, their effects are not confined to the battlefield, but rather the news, images, and circulated clips quickly move into our homes, and the sounds of alarm sirens reach every home, and also to the minds of children, and suddenly the child starts asking heavy questions to the parents, why there is a war? And could we die?
These questions do not mean that the child understands politics or international conflicts, but imply something simpler and deeper which is searching for security and reassurance. For the child, the world consists of home, school, and parents. When the word "war" is mentioned, their small mind starts wondering if this world they know is still safe.
Child psychology indicates that parents' reactions to crises are more important than the event itself, as a child observes the faces and tone of voices of their parents to determine if there is real danger. When they see calmness and reassurance, they feel that things are under control. The American Academy of Pediatrics has confirmed that calm parental responses in crises significantly help reduce anxiety and fear in children.
When a child asks about the reason for war, they do not need a complex political explanation; a simple explanation that his mind can understand suffices. We could say that sometimes wars happen when adults disagree and cannot resolve their issues through dialogue, and that there are many countries and organizations in the world that constantly work to stop wars and protect people. As developmental psychologist Jean Piaget points out, children think in a simple and direct way during the early stages of life, so complex explanations might increase anxiety rather than reassure them.
The more difficult question is when a child asks if we could die? Here, the response must be reassuring yet honest at the same time. It is important to explain to the child that we are in a safe place, and there are institutions and countries working to protect people, but more importantly, that he feels his parents are beside him and that he's not alone in facing this fear.
In our current era, the problem is not only the news but also the multitude of violent images and scenes that children see. The repeated viewing of scenes of destruction can create a sense they are living in an unsafe world. Thus, the World Health Organization recommends reducing children's exposure to violent news and explaining what they hear in a calm and simple manner.
Despite everything happening in the world, maintaining a daily routine for children is important. Going to school, playing, and sitting with the family as they used to provides them a sense that life is still normal. It is also necessary to allow them to express their feelings and fears without belittling them, as the presence of a secure relationship between a child and his parents, as explained by psychologist John Bowlby’s attachment theory, helps the child deal with anxiety and psychological stress better.
While we may not be able to change what happens in the world, we can protect another world of greater importance, the child's inner world. When the child feels that their parents are calm and close to him, they learn that crises pass, and that security can begin at home.
