Khaberni - It is well-known that inner peace is hard to achieve. Psychology confirms that the problem is not in the lack of effort, but in the relentless pursuit of acquiring this peace, as inner peace is not something obtained through hard work, but rather a result of letting go, according to Global English Editing. And while one might think that inner peace is a reward for all the effort put into reaching it, psychology points to a different approach:
The pursuit of peace is exhausting
In reality, people run in circles in pursuit of inner peace. Self-help books, seminars, and countless online workshops promote the power of perseverance and hard work for this peace. This belief is so ingrained that even when it comes to inner peace, one might believe it requires hard work to attain it. But the more one tries desperately to reach inner peace, the more it seems to elude them. Psychology suggests a different approach: surrender, as the pursuit of peace is more exhausting than it is beneficial, and comes at a significant cost to mental health. Instead of chasing inner peace and trying to earn it, one might simply attract it by letting go of the pursuit.
Attempting to impose tranquility
From personal experience, frantic attempts to find peace yield disastrously counterproductive results. One might try their utmost to approach a state of tranquility through yoga, meditation, and chewing thoughtfully down to the last bite. However, the irony is the more one tries to snatch tranquility, the more anxious they become, and the more they strive for calm, the louder their internal noise grows. In contrast, surrendering, accepting oneself as they are, and allowing life to flow smoothly, leads to a change in perspective. Peace originates from within, not something acquired by completing a to-do list.
The mind is not equipped for multitasking
When constantly distracted by tasks and the pursuit of peace, the mind is set up for failure. The more one tries to cram inner peace into their busy schedules and to-do lists, the harder it becomes. Instead of exhausting oneself with this mental effort, one should surrender to the present and embrace experiences as they are without clinging to any desired outcome - here lies true peace.
The key lies in acceptance and non-resistance
Humans need to control their environment. However, this need for control also seeps into their pursuit of inner peace. Ironically, one tries to impose a state that fundamentally requires freedom to flourish. Practically, instead of ignoring the noise of traffic during meditation, one might acknowledge and accept it, finding it less disruptive or distracting. Similarly, instead of struggling with negative thoughts and emotions, one can simply observe them without judgment. The moment one resists, they give these negative elements power, whereas letting go of resistance strips negativity of its strength.
Learning to let go
Many carry heavy emotional burdens filled with past injuries, disappointments, failures, and negative beliefs about themselves. Having the courage to let go of this emotional baggage is a fundamental part of finding peace. This includes acknowledging the past and forgiving oneself and others. Letting go of old grudges and past disappointments does not mean denying past pain, but rather letting go of its burden. Letting go is essentially liberating for oneself and for the minds and hearts.
The intrusive internal voice
Some struggle with a relentless annoying voice in their head. It takes many forms but often whispers: "You're not good enough," "You don't deserve peace," and "People will discover your truth," undermining their self-confidence and disturbing their inner peace. Trying to argue with this voice and silence it logically only makes it stronger and more persistent. In reality, this internal voice has no power unless allowed.
Accepting uncertainty
One of the largest sources of anxiety for humans is the need for certainty and security. Since the dawn of humanity, survival has depended on the ability to predict, control, and understand the environment. This need for control often extends to the pursuit of inner peace as well. Many forget that the future is inherently uncertain, and no amount of planning or strategizing can truly guarantee it. Anxiety takes root when one tries to control this uncontrollable future. Thus, the importance of surrendering to the ambiguity of life should be noted, acknowledging that some things will remain beyond control, despite best efforts.
Exposing the falsehood of perfection
Some envision inner peace as an ideal stage or a state of bliss where anxiety does not exist and negativity has no place, painting a picture dominated by calm and tranquility. But this is not real life. Life is filled with chaos and beautiful flaws. It's a volatile journey of emotions - happiness, sadness, anger, joy, fear, and excitement. Therefore, expecting a permanent state of peace, free from these fluctuations, is unrealistic and boring.
Realizing that peace is not an end goal but a journey is the optimal tool, meaning understanding that true peace is contentment with life's chaos and fluctuations and recognizing that it's okay to not have answers for everything, and likely to experience tough days, fail and not meet everyone's expectations, and be human in every sense of the word. Herein lies the power of surrender. It's not about a relentless pursuit of perfection but about finding satisfaction and peace amid chaos and deficiency.
