Khaberni - If you struggle daily to convince your child to brush their teeth or wear a coat, you are not alone. Many parents have tried numerous tricks, such as singing, imaginative play, or buying a toothbrush with beloved characters, but to no success.
In this context, Nikki Perfect, who has worked for over 10 years as a hostage negotiation specialist at New Scotland Yard, spoke about the best ways to negotiate with children, according to what Huffington Post published.
Perfect affirmed that the problem often lies in reacting emotionally, rather than responding calmly.
She offered her first advice by posing an open-ended question like: "What is the reason behind you saying that?", to understand the child's motives before trying to solve the problem. However, the most important trick she named was "choice without choice".
For example, if a child refuses to wear a coat, you can ask: "Will you wear it when entering the car or when you leave it?", or for homework: "Will you do it before dinner or after it?". This way, the child feels autonomous, but will ultimately comply with the requirement.
Perfect advises staying calm because parental stress makes the child feel pressured and increases resistance, and she emphasizes the use of positive reinforcement like rewards or stickers to encourage good behaviors.
When dealing with younger children, crouching to their visual level with a calm and open body language enhances communication, while for children with ADHD, it is better to minimize instructions, one word at a time, with simple gestures to support their executive memory.
Experts recommend providing clear and simple instructions, one after the other, in a calm voice, to ensure a response and reduce the feeling of being overwhelmed in children.
