10 Wise Lessons That Will Resonate in Your Child's Mind for Years

To help make the task of parenting smoother—regardless of their ages—we will explore how to instill the 10 most important lessons that experts believe will be extremely useful for increasing awareness in a child’s mind:

• Asking for Help is Courageous

Naveen Khalfan, a psychologist specializing in family matters, tells "Time" magazine: Children don’t need to understand everything by themselves, they must be taught that "asking for help sometimes" is a life-long skill.

And convincing them that asking for help is "acceptable," and that hesitating out of fear of appearing weak "is not true," because showing the need for help in these cases is itself "strength and courage."

• Not Taking Insults Personally

Psychologist Morin explains to her young clients that "those who bully you might do so because they are dealing with an issue that makes them feel bad about themselves," assuring that this explanation is not a justification for bullies’ behavior, but a way to help the child understand that others' words and actions "reflect what's inside them, not what’s inside him."

And Morin believes that this approach helps the child to think calmly and understand that the bully might likewise be a victim of circumstances or feelings that drove him to this hurtful behavior, reducing the impact of the insults on him and preventing him from taking it personally.

• Listening to the Conscience

Morin proposes a lesson that enhances children’s confidence and independence in decision-making, explaining that every person has two contrasting voices inside: a "devil" urging them to do what seems tempting but wrong, and an "angel" urging them to choose the right thing, confirming that every child has the freedom to choose between these two voices.

She also notes that this understanding helps children labeled as "bad" to feel more at ease when they realize that the desire for wrongful behavior is a natural human feeling everyone experiences, and what matters is choosing the right action in the end.

• Self-Acceptance and Behaving Naturally

Naveen Khalfan explains that children often learn to act in a way that pleases others during their upbringing, saying: "It is natural for a child to seek acceptance and belonging to their group, hence they try to adapt to the molds or roles that ensure social acceptance."

However, Naveen warns against overdoing this behavior pattern, noting that a child raised always meeting others' expectations will never be able to be their true self and might continue this tendency into adulthood, leading to a continuous crisis in identity and difficulty in self-acceptance.

And Naveen emphasizes, in this context, the importance of the child hearing a clear message from their environment stating that "it is not necessary that everyone likes you," because realizing this truth at an early age helps them to build a more balanced and independently psychological personality.

• Not Being Afraid to Reassess Thoughts

Dr. Natalie Bernstein, a certified psychologist in Pittsburgh, USA, states that it is good for children to get used to noticing negative thoughts, reassessing them, and challenging them; they should be told "it’s okay to doubt your thoughts, just because you have a thought doesn’t mean it’s true."

Instead of children clinging to any idea, Bernstein recommends advising them "to deal with the idea curiously, to delve into it, and not to treat it as a fact at first glance."

• Making Mistakes Means You Are Learning

Carolyn Fleck, a certified psychologist in California, says, "Making mistakes provides a unique opportunity to learn how to take responsibility."

Conversely, Naveen Khalfan observes that when children try something new and find themselves not excelling at it, they "leave it immediately"; she explains this by saying they live in an ideal world where we are supposed to "do things right the first time, and if not, there is something wrong with us, or we are stupid."

And she advises that one of the most important lessons to instill in a child is that "making mistakes does not make you bad; it simply means that you are learning."

• Feelings are Acceptable and Hurtful Actions are Not

Amy Morin states that all feelings are acceptable and natural, but hurtful actions are not, emphasizing the need to teach the child that anger or distress does not justify aggressive behavior. And she says: "It is natural to feel angry, but that does not justify hitting someone, just as feeling upset does not mean you should scream at others."

Morin explains that discomfort is natural, but what is essential is training the child to manage their emotions and express them in a healthy way, as being able to say "I am angry" makes them less likely to act aggressively, while those who struggle to understand their emotions or to label them often resort to violence to express them

• The Body is Personal and Boundaries Must Be Respected

Psychologist Naveen Khalfan emphasizes that children should realize that their bodies are solely their own, explaining: "Your body has privacy and boundaries, and it is entirely natural for you to refuse someone hugging or shaking your hand if you don't feel comfortable."

And she points out that reinforcing this concept at an early age helps children understand the meaning of personal boundaries, and always think about whether they feel safe and comfortable in different situations.

She adds that openness and friendliness are desirable traits in a child’s personality, but it is also important that they learn to discern and be aware in dealing with others, and to know that trust is not granted to everyone, but is built with experience and security.

• You Are Loved for Who You Are, Not Your Achievements

Carolyn Fleck clarifies that true pursuit of achievement does not start with high grades in school, but from teaching children how to set realistic expectations and care about getting adequate sleep and proper self-care, confirming that these healthy habits provide them with a balance and psychological stability much greater than what they could achieve from accomplishments at the expense of their comfort and inner peace.

Bernstein points out that in today’s world, where achievement is a top priority, many children find themselves burdened with activities and competitions, so much so that their self-esteem is linked to performance and outcomes. And she wonders: "What if the child decided to stop playing or did not perform well?"

And she stresses that it is essential for the child to learn from an early age that their parents attend their activities not because they are waiting for them to win or excel, but because they want to support them and share what they love, embedding this notion in the child's consciousness protects them from the trap of anxiety and perfectionism that may follow them throughout their life.

• Stopping to Worry and Expect the Worst

Bernstein recommends teaching children not to waste time and energy worrying and expecting the worst, encouraging them to pause and deal with situations as they actually occur instead of preoccupying themselves with them beforehand.

She explains that it is important for the child to understand that most of what we worry about never happens, and if it does happen, we discover that it is less bad than we imagined.