Khaberni - Friendships have a significant impact on the lives and behavior of youth, hence choosing the right friend is an extremely important step. Here the question arises: How can I differentiate between a real and a fake friend?
In their youth, individuals may not have sufficient awareness to differentiate between false and genuine friendships, so it's important to pay attention to differences that we will clarify later, through which we can know who deserves the title "friend" and who is merely a passerby in your life.
Signs that distinguish a real friend
Moments of fun and enjoyment don't reveal a person's true character, so every young man or woman must test their friends with the following signs:
A real friend appears in times of hardship
You may have heard this phrase repeatedly, but have you tested it? A real friend does not get close to you only during happy times or normal situations but is the first one to extend a helping hand whenever you face any situation in your life. Whereas the fake one exists only during times of fun and comfort, and as Psychology Today experts justify, for some, friendship is merely a means of entertainment but they do not recognize the true meaning of friendship.
Your friend listens to you carefully
A loyal and real friend cares about you just as much as you do yourself; when you speak, they listen attentively, while a fake friend always seeks ways to make themselves the center of attention, turning the conversation to their achievements, problems, and desires. Your real friend not only listens to you but also interacts with your emotions and asks questions out of interest, not curiosity.
Respecting promises
A real friend values your time and trust, and does not promise what they cannot deliver. On the other hand, a fake friend often fails to keep their promises, forgets appointments, and always finds an excuse to disappoint you. With repeated excuses, the relationship turns into a burden instead of support.
Keeping secrets
The most dangerous sign revealing fake friendships is "secrets". A real friend is a keeper of your secrets, while a fake one will betray you at the nearest opportunity. Experts suggest that some people may use what they know about their friends for the purpose of gaining social acceptance, while a real friend considers your secret a trust to be taken to the grave.
Jealousy
According to Simply Psychology, feelings of jealousy expose the nature of friendships; it may even be the most prominent sign. When you achieve something, a real friend shares your joy from the heart, as if they were the one who succeeded. However, a fake friend's smile is forced, and their comments carry feelings of comparison or belittlement. Jealousy is a behavior that cannot be rectified, thus if you find yourself in such friendships, it's better to end the relationship.
Offering sincere advice
"One is a mirror to their friend" is a saying that has proven true. A loyal and true friend provides advice to their friend in a suitable and gentle manner, aiming for improvement and counsel, not belittlement or jealousy. Whereas a fake friend hides behind the excuse "I am naturally frank"; to say something that hurts you, then justifies their harshness as "for your own good".
Appreciating boundaries
In all relationships, not just friendships, personal boundaries are important and represent a significant part of the chances for a relationship’s success and continuation. If you have a loyal friend, they will respect your personal boundaries and not insist on knowing every detail of your life out of curiosity. Whereas a fake friend interferes in what does not concern them, monitors you, and comments on your life as if they have a right to make decisions about it.
Giving
Giving in friendship is mutual, but a fake friend acts as if you are a bank for emotions, time, and effort. They demand your support and attention non-stop, but vanish when you need them. Over time, you feel emotionally drained in a relationship that only satisfies one side.
Boosting self-confidence
True friendship enhances self-confidence; because a real friend makes you feel strong and reassured, unlike a fake friend who criticizes you to belittle you, plants doubt in your abilities, and thus affects your self-confidence significantly, especially since youth is a confusing stage and awareness may not be fully formed.
Honesty and convenience
Circumstances change while a real friend's love remains the same. However, if your friend changes according to circumstances and situations, they are a fake friend and will disappear eventually. In youth, we may be exposed to many life fluctuations; hence, we need a true friend who remains steadfast in their love and support despite the changes.
Acceptance and respect
A true friend does not need to pretend in front of them for fear of their criticism, as they accept you as you are and respect the differences. A young man or woman in friendship relationships should not fear rejection when expressing an opinion different from their friend's. Meanwhile, a fake friend tries to change you all the time to fit their standards, commenting on your behavior and appearance as if you are a continuous modification project.
Feeling of peace
This criterion may specifically be a result of all the aforementioned factors. If you choose a true friend, you will feel psychological peace, and your presence together instills optimism and comfort. However, if you feel that your friend's presence causes you stress, you are in a toxic friendship and should flee.
The simplest test of friendship is how you feel after meeting. If you leave the meeting relaxed and optimistic, they are a true friend. If you leave tense or burdened with negative energy, perhaps it's time to reconsider. True friendship adds psychological comfort, while a fake one silently steals it. As psychologist Amy Duramos says: You have the right to choose who gives you security, and to quietly close the door in the face of those who steal your energy in the name of friendship.
